Painted Nails and 5 Year Olds: the Sockpuppets Strike Back Again

16 04 2011

And now, thanks to bigotry so obscene and bizarre that I cannot adequately respond to it seriously, THE SOCKPUPPETS RETURN!

J. Crew: *puts five year old son of an executive playing with her and having his nails painted*

Christian Bigot #1: AHHHHHH TEHHHH GAYYYYYYY!!!! TEH GAYZ WILL EEEEEETTTT USSSSSS MAKE IT STOOOOP!

J. Crew: Uhm…

Christian Bigot #2: But but it’s [and this is a direct quote] “propaganda celebrating transgendered children”

Sane People Everywhere: Yeah, isn’t it awesome? Acceptance is great

Christian Bigot #2: NOO TRANSEXSUALZ R ICKY!

Islamic Bigot (we here at Humanity By Starlight take diversity very seriously, after all): STONE THEM TO DEATH!

Christian Bigot #1: EW A MUSLIM

Christian Bigot #2: GREAT IDEA *begins gathering stones*

J. Crew: Oh for fuck’s sake

Fox: GAYYYS! TRANSEXSEXSEXSEXSEXUALS!  COMMIES! LIBERALS! TOLERANCE! BURN THEM ALL AT THE STAKE!

No, this isn’t very mature or thoughtful criticism of any of the above jackasses. It is, however, the level of discourse they deserve. They have rejected all pretense of civil or intelligent or reasoned discussion, so I won’t waste my time using it on them.





Vote of No Confidence

12 03 2010

I would like to motion for a vote of no confidence in Texas. That is to say, go have your little independent country. We don’t want you anymore. You’re just too goddamn stupid for us.

Texas’ governmental stupidity normally isn’t newsworthy, but in this case it has reached such truly staggering feats of idiocy that I think they deserve special attention. You see, according to Texas’s BOE, Thomas Jefferson wasn’t a founding father.

12:32 – Board member Cynthia Dunbar argues that the Founders didn’t intend for separation of church and state in America. And she’s off on a long lecture about why the Founders intended to promote religion. She calls this amendment “not historically accurate.”

Madame, you are not simply ignorant. You are deeply, shockingly stupid.

…I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof, thus building a wall of separation between church and state.

Hm, that’s interesting. Some of that sounds familiar. It sounds almost like…

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

As Dunbar probably doesn’t know what I just quoted, I will explain: this is the text to the first amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America. See where I’m going with this? If the Founding Fathers did not intend to construct a wall of separation, and therefore Jefferson is not a Founding Father! I wonder who else I can find out wasn’t really one of the Founders?

The civil Government, though bereft of everything like an associated hierarchy, possesses the requisite stability, and performs its functions with complete success, whilst the number, the industry, and the morality of the priesthood, and the devotion of the people, have been manifestly increased by the total separation of the church from the State

-James Madison, “The father of the Constitution,” in a letter to Robert Walsh

The United States of America have exhibited, perhaps, the first example of governments erected on the simple principles of nature; and if men are now sufficiently enlightened to disabuse themselves of artifice, imposture, hypocrisy, and superstition, they will consider this event as an era in their history. Although the detail of the formation of the American governments is at present little known or regarded either in Europe or in America, it may hereafter become an object of curiosity. It will never be pretended that any persons employed in that service had interviews with the gods, or were in any degree under the influence of Heaven, more than those at work upon ships or houses, or laboring in merchandise or agriculture; it will forever be acknowledged that these governments were contrived merely by the use of reason and the senses….

-John Adams

As to religion, I hold it to be the indispensable duty of government to protect all conscientious protesters thereof, and I know of no other business government has to do therewith.

-Thomas Paine (incidentally, as far as I can ascertain he is not part of the Texas education standards at all)

And lastly, from one of the relatively unknown Founders:

In the Enlightened Age and in this Land of equal Liberty it is our boast, that a man’s religious tenets will not forfeit the protection of the Laws, nor deprive him of the right of attaining and holding the highest Offices that are known in the United States

Have you guessed who it is yet? Yes, you in the back? Did you say George Washington? Exactly right! I’m surprised you got that, not many people have heard of him!

Study of the Constitution is not the only thing that has undergone a lobotomy, though. What kind of fundies would they be if they’d only destroyed the standards on one important topic? The Enlightenment is being treated rather like the women of a village when the Mongols invaded. You see, the word “Enlightenment” is gone from the standards, replaced with “the writings of…”. Jefferson has been ejected from the unit, too. Who has replaced him? John Calvin and Thomas Aquinas. No, I am not kidding. I wish I were.





Why Gay Marriage Is Right

29 08 2009

It really is as simple as that.





Officer’s Experience in the Military

20 08 2009

Ed posted an account of an officer’s experiences with religious discrimination in the US military. This, I think, should be mandatory reading for anyone who believes in the Establishment Clause.





Texaslol

17 08 2009

Since trying to trash science standards wasn’t enough, they’ve gone after social studies/humanities as well.

For instance, a 2007 law that takes effect this school year requires Bible courses in school.

The article opens with an illustrative example.

“By the end of the year, what they begin to realize is that it is pervasive. You can’t get away from it.  The kids came back and were like ‘It’s everywhere,'” said John Keeling, the social studies chair at Whitehouse High School.

Short Keeling: they see the Bible everywhere!

Whitehouse already offers a Bible elective. “The purpose of a course like this isn’t even really to get kids to believe it per say. It is just to appreciate the profound impact that it has had on our history and on our government,” said Keeling.

Short Keeling: But really, no push to believe at all! What? No, I don’t need a fire extinguisher for my pants, why do you ask?

“I think it is a good thing because a lot of kids don’t have that experience, and they already want to take prayer out of school as it is– and you see where our kids are ending up!” said Tyler resident Laura Tucker.

Translated with painstaking hours of work into English, that reads, “I think it is a good thing, because a lot of kids don’t have that experience of flagrant First Amendment violations, and they already want to enforce the First Amendment as it is– and you see where our kids are ending up, with minds of their own, even as [whispering] libruls!”

Tyler resident Havis Tatum disagress with Tucker. He said, “I don’t want anybody teaching their religious beliefs to my child unless they want to send their child to my house and let me teach them my religious views. There is no difference.”

Ding ding ding! Correct answer, Mr. Tatum! Too bad believers in the Constitution such as yourself are such a small minority there.

Oh, and (big shock) the wingnuts can’t figure out how to write a bill properly.

School officials tell us schools haven’t enforced this law because of confusion over the bill’s wording and lack of state funding.

Incompetence: the best defense against government.

(via Skepchick)





Another Murder

31 05 2009

Another abortion doctor was murdered. I know that the vast majority of Christians find this as apalling and awful as I do, and so I say to you “Be loud. Be angry. Tell people about this. Call for the investigation.” Don’t allow extremists to hijack your religion by remaining silent.





Two More Free States

7 04 2009

Iowa and Vermont, as you have no doubt seen, both just legalized gay marriage, Iowa through a unanimous court ruling that the majority Democrats in the legislature are backing, and Vermont by overriding the governer’s veto, 23-5 and 100-49.

There really isn’t much to say about this. Both are great news for American civil rights, and we can hope that this sets the trend.