What Schools Are Not For

26 03 2010

No, surprisingly this post isn’t about separation of church and state, but it has a lot to do with the stupid American puritanism that is still pervasive in our culture. You see, a school decided to ban two girls from all extracurriculars because they dared play with a lollipop and take pictures!. Teenage girls have sleepover. Teenage girls “pretend to kiss or lick a phallus shaped multi-colored lollipop that they had purchased.” Principle decides that this is his business, and bans them from all extracurrics for a year unless they attend 3 counselling sessions and apologize to the all male athletic board, in which case it would “only” last for a quarter of the year.

Yes, the correct reaction here is “what the fu…?”

First of all, who the hell cares? Teenagers are aware that sex exists, and joke about it even! Shock! Horror! I’m sure the older generation never had a sexual thought even once until the day they married. If you’re worried about the issue of posting pictures of yourself in this sort of situation online, fine, that’s legitimate, tell their parents. But outside of that, this is a non issue. There is no reason that what they did should even be considered bad.

Second, who the hell made you God? What conceivable reason does the school have for claiming authority here? Schools have neither the right nor the authority to control every aspect of their students’ lives. Unless it is causing significant disruption at school, what students are doing outside of school is really none of their damn business. “Government in the bedroom” is a bad thing, right? Well how much worse is having the frigging school in the bedroom? There is no reason whatsoever for the school to have any authority over any of its pupils’ sexuality outside of school.

This isn’t just an issue of expression, it’s an issue of authority. Let me say that as a high schooler, I think that to give schools control over students this way is just creepy. This wasn’t even sex! This was playing with a lollipop and taking pictures. And if it were sex, which is the logical extension of this policy (assuming no cameras, because that brings up the issue of child porn), well, that’d be even worse. If teenagers want to have sex, there is nothing wrong with that.

[Feel free to insert the phrase “fucking stupid” as you desire in the above post. I had to restrain myself several times to avoid using it, because man does it ever fit]

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