The Glorious Return

28 10 2009

I have English homework I really should be doing, but as I’ve hit my semiweekly massive failure in motivation, instead you shall get the Glorious Return of the Perpetual Dissent Abridged Sock Puppet Company, in a series of short sketches for your entertainment, amusement, or annoyance (wait, why are you even reading my blog then?)

 

Puppet 1: Public healthcare is socialism! If we allow it, then what’s to stop us sliding into anarchy, or worse, COMMUNISM?!?!

PD: Hey, have you heard of Scandinavia?

Puppet 1: Are they godless heathens?

PD: Happily, many are. They’re also pretty much socialist. They also have the highest standards of living and happiness on almost every major scale.

Puppet 2: But they have given up their freedom! Freedom is more important than quality of life, you foolish librul!

PD: Well, ok. But on most measures they’re also more free than we are!

Puppet 2: This is madness!

PD: This! Is! Reality! *kicks puppet down a hole the Spartans randomly have right there*

 

***

Puppet 1: Do your homework!

PD: But…I don’t need to, I know the stuff without the homew-

Puppet 1: DO YOUR HOMEWORK!

PD: Fine, fine, jeez. *does mediocre job on homework he doesn’t need*

Puppet 1: You have so much ability! Why is your work so poor?!

PD: …because I could skip it entirely and still get a 90 in this class?

Puppet 1: DISRESPECTFUL!

PD: Calling an easy class easy is disrespectful?

Puppet 1: *tirade involving words like “proper deference,” “work ethic,” “courtesy,” “AP,” and “adequate services.”*

PD: Could you define “adequate” for me, please?

Puppet 1: Sufficient.

PD: So if you were payed just above a living wage, that’d be fine, right? After all, it’s “sufficient.”

Puppet 1: DIFFERENT SITUATIONS!

PD: Yes, in this one you’re the one getting screwed -.- Oh look, the bell. Too bad I was the only one able to finish this essay, and still found time to argue with you. Have fun trying to find an excuse to fail me…

***

Puppet 1: Why do you not have straight A’s?

PD: Because I can barely stay awake during half my classes?

Puppet 2: So you disrespect your teachers?!

PD: No, they just have easy classes…

Puppet 1: This is high school, it Matters! You need to make sure you get into a good college so you’re less bored!

PD: Just like how much fun high school was going to be? And just like how middle school would definitely be so much harder than elementary school?

Puppet 2: You are Closing Doors!

PD: I’m also avoiding complete mental pillaging occurring on my brain by Genghis School and his Boredom Horde.

Puppets 1 and 2: BAD CHILD YOU WILL CARE!

PD: *sigh* will you stop yelling so I can finish the homework I was working on when you started? Thanks. Bye.

 

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2 responses

8 11 2009
Austin

What do you really know about Scandinavia? Or, economics?

Norway has a strong monarchy that actively participates in government. Norway divested itself of most of its state owned assets in the last decade and owns 30% or less of selected sectors today.

Virtually all of Sweden’s industrial production is controlled by private firms and there is no government ownership of them.

Finland lifted all controls over industry in the 1980s and very little is now owned by the state.

In terms of economic freedom, Scandinavia is hardly Socialist. The liberalization of the 1980s and 1990s – the turn AWAY from socialism and to capitalism is why Scandinavia is doing so well.

All this information is freely available on wikipedia or the nations’ websites.

There are other factors as well – Scandinavia has some of the highest per capita oil and metal production in the world and benefited from having industrial capacity and population that survived WWII intact. It also helped to have a stable, cohesive, homogenous population composed of mostly caucasians and intact families.

Socialism is flawed in theory and in practice. At its root, it is a reproductive strategy based upon eliminating competition from intelligent people.

8 11 2009
Perpetual Dissent

This is what happens when conservatives try to be cute, and fail. Because, you see, they can’t admit to reality, so they have to exaggerate, twist facts, and sidestep inconvenient points if they are to avoid flat out lying. For instance, pure socialism is not what is referred to by “socialism” in almost any context by anyone in the West. Pure state ownership works no better than pure privatization, and no one denies it. But that doesn’t make a nice, easy straw man for the Right to burn.

Certainly, the homogeneous populations help, but to claim that Scandinavia’s prosperity has nothing to do with socialism is amusing at best.

Move along, little troll.

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