I have English homework I really should be doing, but as I’ve hit my semiweekly massive failure in motivation, instead you shall get the Glorious Return of the Perpetual Dissent Abridged Sock Puppet Company, in a series of short sketches for your entertainment, amusement, or annoyance (wait, why are you even reading my blog then?)
Puppet 1: Public healthcare is socialism! If we allow it, then what’s to stop us sliding into anarchy, or worse, COMMUNISM?!?!
PD: Hey, have you heard of Scandinavia?
Puppet 1: Are they godless heathens?
PD: Happily, many are. They’re also pretty much socialist. They also have the highest standards of living and happiness on almost every major scale.
Puppet 2: But they have given up their freedom! Freedom is more important than quality of life, you foolish librul!
PD: Well, ok. But on most measures they’re also more free than we are!
Puppet 2: This is madness!
PD: This! Is! Reality! *kicks puppet down a hole the Spartans randomly have right there*
Puppet 1: Do your homework!
PD: But…I don’t need to, I know the stuff without the homew-
Puppet 1: DO YOUR HOMEWORK!
PD: Fine, fine, jeez. *does mediocre job on homework he doesn’t need*
Puppet 1: You have so much ability! Why is your work so poor?!
PD: …because I could skip it entirely and still get a 90 in this class?
Puppet 1: DISRESPECTFUL!
PD: Calling an easy class easy is disrespectful?
Puppet 1: *tirade involving words like “proper deference,” “work ethic,” “courtesy,” “AP,” and “adequate services.”*
PD: Could you define “adequate” for me, please?
Puppet 1: Sufficient.
PD: So if you were payed just above a living wage, that’d be fine, right? After all, it’s “sufficient.”
Puppet 1: DIFFERENT SITUATIONS!
PD: Yes, in this one you’re the one getting screwed -.- Oh look, the bell. Too bad I was the only one able to finish this essay, and still found time to argue with you. Have fun trying to find an excuse to fail me…
Puppet 1: Why do you not have straight A’s?
PD: Because I can barely stay awake during half my classes?
Puppet 2: So you disrespect your teachers?!
PD: No, they just have easy classes…
Puppet 1: This is high school, it Matters! You need to make sure you get into a good college so you’re less bored!
PD: Just like how much fun high school was going to be? And just like how middle school would definitely be so much harder than elementary school?
Puppet 2: You are Closing Doors!
PD: I’m also avoiding complete mental pillaging occurring on my brain by Genghis School and his Boredom Horde.
Puppets 1 and 2: BAD CHILD YOU WILL CARE!
PD: *sigh* will you stop yelling so I can finish the homework I was working on when you started? Thanks. Bye.